Guys I’m so excited about this news!!! I feel like I just needed to tell someone who isn’t my mom because I’m not prepared to die yet!
If you’re following my Facebook, this might be semi-old news, since I post all my school related updates and stress on there. And if you’re not following me, you should, lol. But it is time for a story so let us begin…
So I’ve been a student for so long now that I can’t even remember when I was a freshman. What I do know is that I should have already graduated and my family thinks I’ve completed my degree already. And I haven’t. I was a bad student! About a year ago I ended up dropping out of college with the intention of going back one day. As the days and weeks and months past though, I was starting to get resigned to the fact that I would never go back. At home, every time college and my degree and my career were brought up, I ended up stressed and upset. I just didn’t have the money to go back and finish up. But worse, I just didn’t have the motivation. It got to the point where my parents noticed and just stopped talking about it, labeling me a failure. Which I kind of am (don’t try to deny it, lol)
As for the reason I dropped out. I was getting super stressed and paranoid about everything. I didn’t like it when the teacher would look over my shoulder to see what I was painting. I felt like they were judging me, thinking my work was terrible and how could I be in this intermediate or advanced class, I should have just stayed in beginning. I couldn’t help but compare my stuff to other students and since I hardly ever got feedback for my work, I assumed that meant it wasn’t good enough. In the end I stopped doing my homework and even stopped going to class. But it wasn’t just me at home thinking I wasn’t going. It was me waking up, driving out the hour to get to school, finding parking nearby, and then sitting in my car for about an hour debating if I should get out and go to class. I ended up failing the last 4-5 classes I had signed up for and I thought this was the time to just stop. I was wasting time and money (not just my own)
It’s been about a year since then and for some reason I just feel a bit better. Since then I’ve done a couple things that I think have boosted my confidence (one of them is my job) and I’m ready to go back and finish school!
I last minute started looking into going back for the Spring Quarter, which starts on March 24th. It turns out I was still on time to return and I reapplied to school, picked out my classes (I’m doing part-time for financial reasons), am working on getting a bunch of paperwork done, and yesterday I did my orientation, which covered things like getting a new school ID and just me making appointments with a few people
And here’s the part I’m excited for! While I was at the orientation yesterday I randomly decided to ask about on campus housing and was told there was still time to apply and that they were doing guaranteed housing. Basically, if I really wanted to, I’d be able to stay on campus. I ended up deciding to do it because I still had a bit of money left over from grants and figured I could make up the rest with a job (and do payments). And today I got the email of where I’m staying, with who, and when I can move in!!
In 2 days I’ll be moving and in a week I’ll be starting school downtown!
Because everything was so sudden I did have to go to my morning job and tell them I could no longer come in. The new manager was really nice about everything and she told me she’s excited for me and hopes I do well (we don’t even really know each other, I feel emotional!). So I quit that job but she also offered to transfer me to a downtown location if they needed anyone. I told her to let me know if that was possible! I also need to talk with my second job because chances are I will need to quit. My plan with housing is to live out there during the week and come back home on the weekends to spend time with my family and to do some grocery shopping. And both of my jobs are just too far for me to keep up with. Technically, if I really wanted to, I could keep my weekend job but that would mean I would hardly see my family and I’m not sure if I’m ready for that (lol)
But yes, I’m just super excited! I already started making up a list of things I should take with my (basically all essentials). It’s a little hard though because, what do I use everyday? Or will I need everyday? Also, I’ve never lived with anyone aside from my family so I’m really nervous about that too but also excited. I’m hoping to get involved with my college community so there might be some stuff going on with the blog (a sort of transition)
Depending on how involved I am, I might be dropping things like my YT channel (which is already dead so not much of a let down). I might also not be blogging as much. MIGHT. But I will be upping my content of what’s going on and maybe foody goodness. Basically, this blog might start to look like how it was when I originally started blogging (a college experience and life type thing)
Welp, that’s an update for now! I have 2 for sure posts nearing the end of this month and after that it is what it is. Oh and for moving, what are some things that I might forget to pack? Technically I can just go back home and get it if I really need it but I’d like to not forget stuff if possible HMMM
Oh and my school has a volleyball club (team?) so you bet I’m going to go bust my HQ moves!
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